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This is Winifred "Winnie" Soulforce taken in April, 1999. This dog changed my life. Winnie was handed to me by an angel in the SPCA on Thursday September 11th, 1990. It was all very strange how it happened. I was halfheartedly looking for a dog at the SPCA. I didn't have a clue what it meant to have a dog. I had never looked after an animal before in my life. What was I doing? But there I was in the Puppy Room, it was just me and another woman about the same age as myself wandering up and down the large room full of puppies. She had opened up one of the cages and was holding one of the little pups. I was afraid to open the cages. So I just read the signs on the clean metal cages. I carefully walked to each cage and looked inside. The little puppies all lay on shredded newspaper. Some of the little dogs were tangled up in this paper and some were chewing it, some were asleep and others looked at me with unique expressions as I browsed down the long hallway. I looked at the sweet eyes and the forlorn snouts. There were dog types of every description. Most of them had an 'X' by their breed indicating that these dogs were a mixture of other breeds. I was surprised how many pure breeds there were. I decided I wanted a Lhasa Apso. They were small a small breed and the Lhasas I had encountered all had strong personalities. I liked dogs with a bit of spunk!
I dreamed of having a little creature to hold on my lap and carry in the front basket of my bicycle, even though I didn't have a basket on my bicycle. A little dog would be a comfort, a friend, a companion. As I wandered down further, I added 'male' to my list of preferences. Yes, I wanted a male dog. I thought that a male dog would be more independent, more self-reliant. I was about to leave because there were no male Lhasa Apsos and I was relieved! I would be spared the responsibility of dog ownership. However, the other woman in the room suddenly walked up to me and handed the puppy she had been playing with to me. "Here!" she said cheerfully. "You just have to hold this one." She handed over the 'Female Lhasa Apso X' to me. I held her small body up close to me. The little puppy snuggled in and fell asleep with her nose buried in the collar of my blouse. When I looked up the woman in the room had vanished. It was just me and this little warm ball of canine who was sleeping peacefully in the crook of my neck. I looked around helplessly to ask this woman what to do but she had vanished. Where did she go? What do I do now? I was smitten and this pup liked me! I walked up to the front desk and asked, "What does it take to adopt a puppy?" And I guess those were the magic words because they allowed me to adopt her but not without a series of stern questions. I was afraid because I had no experience and no qualifications. Somehow I passed the SPCA inspection. However, the adopting official did say the SPCA would do a surprise home visit to make sure that I was giving the dog proper care. I signed all the papers and that was it - Winifred Soulforce was mine!
Well, I cried on the way home. My dear friend Rilla, Winnie's Dog Mother, drove us home. I sang, "You are My Sunshine" to my little pup as she slept in my lap. Rilla looked at me with great amusement but she understood how one's outlook can change once you actually commit to caring for an animal. I didn't sleep a wink that night. I kept looking at her wondering if she was still alive. I totally identified with Shirley McClaine's character in "Terms of Endearment" when she crawls into the baby's crib in the middle of the night to see if the child is breathing. That was me with Winnie that first night. Was she alright? I just kept checking. Neither the pup nor I got any sleep! The days of Winnie sleeping in my arms were long gone. Winnie turned out to be a most feisty pup! She was hardly a Lhasa Apso either. Winnie grew to be a Terrier of some kind with the longest legs you have ever seen. Today she weighs in at 49lbs. Maybe she is mixed with Lhasa somewhere but it takes some imagination to see it. There is no bicycle basket on this planet which could hold her either; for neither her size nor her disposition would allow it. She will run for a ball and a Frisbee but forget about her ever bringing it back! I am the one who plays 'fetch'! I am not complaining, however; for I have had more fun with this dog than I have had with any human being, well, with one exception.
In the fall of 1990, a month after getting Winnie my life began to fall apart. My dearest friend, Juan Javier Hernandez got very sick. For the next nine months I watched my friend die a slow and painful death. I spent most of my free time in the hospital with him. Winnie spent much of her puppy life alone because I was at the hospital a great deal of the time as I watched my dear friend slip daily from this life. And in June of 1991 my dear friend Juan passed away. Angry and upset, I let other dear friendships go as well. Some I never have been able to retrieve. I completely isolated myself from everyone. If it weren't for Winnie, I would be dead also. Just when I thought that I could never get out of bed again, in she would come. Winnie would jump up on my bed and gleefully entice me to the outdoors. Sometimes I would shout at her to go away and leave me but she played deaf (Actually, Winnie's is not the obeying type.) and continued to circle the bed. All I could see was her tail circling and circling. She would pace around and around the bed endlessly. You could have played the theme music to the movie 'JAWS'. No matter what, Winnie could get me up. She got me to enjoy life again. Winnie taught me how to look, no, I mean really LOOK. I began to sit by her in the mornings and gaze out the window at the world. To others there was nothing to see but to Winnie it was life. There was lots to look at. I really learned to pay attention to the present and to enjoy the here and now from Winnie. It was ok to grieve but then one must move on.
I got to know my neighbors through Winnie. She greeted everyone. She's much more friendly than I. She made me connect with the outside world, whether I'd like to or not. Winnie has saved my life in so many ways. You know, I wonder if the woman who handed Winnie to me in the SPCA all those years ago was an angel? I went through so many years of pain after Winnie's adoption. Did the God above send me a little spirit to help me through? I believe so. When Winnie and I go to the park and just sit, I often thank God for sending her to me. Winnie's enthusiasm and joy for life helped me to retrieve my soul when I went into my deepest depression.
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